Pregnancy

When i was a child

I thought every child who was abonden by their parents

Is  the one who hated by them.

Because i’m too scared

If i’ll be like them.

I pretend to be a good girl.

Without mistake.

When i was a child,

I thought rising a child

is like rising a pet.

If it died we can buy or make the other one.

When i was a child,

my mother told me if we were

want to born a child.

Is like we must choose

Between death or your baby.

But i’m not that stupid

for choosing my baby

than my life.

But my mother said,

‘’You don’t understand yet, a baby’’

When i was already and adult.

I got married with my husband.

One day, i’ve already pregnant.

I rise my baby who still in my stomach carefully.

I really love my baby.

When i about want to born my baby.

The doctor said,

‘’You must choose between your baby or your life’’

My husband really shock.

Then he was begging me to save my life first.

It’s really hard to choose.

Because two of them is really important for me.

I really want to save my life.

But my heart won’t let me said it.

With eyes full of tears.

I said to them that i choose my baby’s life.

My husband still begging me

But i keep pushing

Push until my baby was born.

When i hear my baby’s voice.

I thought i can hold it.

I’ll give it a name

Rise my baby with love.

And grow old with my beloved.

But i can’t